Chronically Cheerful #8: I finally get to share this!
Exciting news, why boredom isn’t bad and how to set goals in therapy.
To me, September means fresh starts.
It could be the deeply ingrained schoolgirl in me, but I can’t shake the belief that autumn is the best time for turning a new page and setting goals (sorry, New Year’s Eve!). Or maybe I’m simply taking a cue from Mother Nature. Especially when it comes to personal growth and healing, I think it’s the perfect time to assess what’s no longer working, shed the past and make room for future growth. 🍂
I invite you to take a moment to reflect. Where are you on your wellness journey? Do you feel like you know where you’re going and have the tools to help you get there? Or, do you feel lost, stuck and stranded? 🥺😩
It’s taken over four years for me to say “Yes” to the first question.
Key to that shift has been acquiring a mix of holistic tools and techniques — my own personal healing toolkit — that empower me to navigate the complicated terrain of chronic illness. These tools range from practicing pacing; to understanding pain science; to redefining my self-worth and identity apart from my productivity. 💪
Knowledge is power. For me, learning and applying these skills have been the difference between being totally debilitated by my condition to feeling equipped and confident to deal with the ebbs and flows that chronic illness throws my way.
If you still feel like your condition has the better of you, don’t despair. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to build your own toolkit from scratch. 🧰
I’m so excited I can finally share this news with you…
I’m launching a group course for chronically ill women!
In Chronic Compass, you’ll learn how to better manage your condition and find more meaning alongside your pain. Over 4 weeks, I’ll teach you the concepts and skills I wish I had at the beginning of my diagnosis — in a safe, supportive group of other women that get exactly what you’re going through. 🥰
These lessons are applicable to anyone with invisible illness — they’re not particular to any one condition!
Personally, I’m most excited about the group element of the course. Connection and community have been one of the most important parts of my healing journey and I’ve come to believe feeling seen and held by others is essential to helping us feel whole. 🤝
The course is hosted on the app Marco Polo, a video-first platform. It’s a lot like exchanging video voicemails, so you’re truly seen and heard when you show up. Best of all, you can watch content and engage when you feel up to it — perfect for unreliable symptoms.
Registration doesn’t officially open until Oct. 1, but you can reserve a spot today!
In the meantime, comment below or reply with any questions. I can’t wait to help you build a healing toolbox and learn to live better — together — with chronic illness. 🤗
Yours in healing,
Carolyn
Consider This
I’m having a hard time these days not constantly distracting myself. Distracting myself with…anything! Not that it’s good for me. 🥴😵💫 Constant scrolling, listening, watching, talking, scrolling…
The world continues to be going through a tough time and I’ve gotten some challenging personal news recently. I’ve found it harder and harder to sit with myself in stillness. Unfortunately, the more I consume and distract, the more shallow and frantic my thinking becomes. Apparently, there’s a reason for this!
Mia Brabham recently shared in Shondaland that there are a lot of surprising benefits to letting your mind take time off…aka, be bored on purpose. One of them? Boredom is actually really good for deep thinking. (The kind of thinking I’m definitely NOT doing when clicking through YouTube videos.)
“When you allow your mind to wander, your brain ignites a neural network called ‘the default mode,’” Zomorodi explains. “It basically goes there when you’re not doing anything. And it turns out that in the default mode you do some of your most original thinking. You do your best problem-solving.”
Boredom is also great at countering information overload — another side effect of my constant scrolling. Zomorodi suggests actually dedicating time to get bored after consuming content, which allows you to better process the information you just consumed and eventually find ways to apply it.
“Why did you read it, what did you think about it, how does it apply to your life … these are digital learning skills that we have to really teach people and practice. As much as we talk about practicing yoga or practicing meditation, processing information, I think, is a skill that we really need to pay attention to as well.”
To bring boredom into your life, try one or all of these tips: physically remove your phone from your body and turn off notifications; take a walk without any added stimuli; and engage in repetitive tasks while letting the mind drift.
Let your mind wander and see what kind of wonder you can invite in!
Try This
Therapy is great. What’s not so great? The feelings of not knowing exactly why you’re there, what you’re working on, or talking about the same things for the 100th time.
Setting goals for your time in therapy can be daunting, but incredibly helpful to act as a roadmap for how you want to spend your time with your therapist and to track progress in certain areas.
Don’t know where to start?
Emily Torres from The Good Trade suggests to start with where you feel discomfort.
Maybe you come across something in your life that feels like a pinch in your gut or a clenching in your chest; these bumps and ridges are where you can start your work.
If you want more concrete ideas, these areas were commonly cited by therapists as goal areas from their clients:
Developing coping skills for anxiety or overwhelming emotions
Reducing the intensity of symptoms related to anxiety and depression
Increasing self-esteem and reducing negative self-talk
Improving sleep quality and prioritizing restfulness
Learning new communication strategies for complex relationships or family dynamics
Processing thoughts and feelings about past trauma
Inviting more mindfulness and presence into everyday life
Changing harmful or unhelpful behaviors
Sharpening your decision-making and boundary-setting skills
Discovering more about who you are, what you want, and where your values lie
Lean Into This
